Why Me?

When I first met “Liz,’ I was thrilled because we immediately had a great deal in common; we both had a child with “stuff.”

 I found her absolutely funny, intelligent and so down to earth.  When I learned she was an adoption social worker, well, that was it!  She was a hero in my eyes.  Of course there was one other element that sent me to the moon and back -- in addition to her two girls, she had adopted a boy.  I had come to learn that the boy was a child to one of her earlier clients.  Oh yeah, wings for life!

 Years later, we are all still great friends.  She is my go to friend and mom when my world falls apart.  She keeps me laughing out loud (aren’t you glad I didn’t use LOL?), consoles me when I need it and then some. 

 Of late, she has struggled with her son in terms of his stuff.  He was first diagnosed bipolar, then personality disorder…already way too much for anyone to acknowledge.  But yet, this Warrior Mom keeps moving forward to do what ever it takes to hold on to her son.  What do I mean by that?  He steals, accuses people of false wrongdoing, and misuses his cell phone and Internet privileges.  Oh, did I mention he is now 17? 

He is close to the age of 18 where he can be on his own and it scares the hell out of my friend.  Her son had a job and screwed it up and got fired.  Had friends and screwed up and now he has no friends.  None.  It is a sad scenario. 

I’ve seen my dear friend scream over the fact that her son can’t get it together.  “What is going to happen to him?  What will become of him?”  She often asks me.  She has two girls in school and has to keep tabs on homework, activities, etc because that’s what parents do.  So in addition to her job, attending to her son and being a mom she stays vertical.  To me, that’s where the phrase is appropriate of I DON’T KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT?

She is an excellent mom and on top of that, SHE SAVES THE WORLD!  She is incredibly dedicated to her clients in finding them real, forever homes.  I’ve seen her work long hours writing home studies way into the early evening to insure her clients get the best.  So her big question to me a lot is WHY ME?

 I know we moms often ask that question.  I do.  ALL THE TIME.  Why is it that after everything I do, provide for, love and encourage it just all falls to crap?  Forever climbing the mountain of well being, yet we slide down and tumble to the ground.

I see my friend fall and struggle to get back up.  Her moments of “I’m done” are truly warranted.  Her son is lovely and I know he wants to do well, but maybe he’s not capable.  He had a sad beginning in life prior to being adopted and I know, we know, this is the root of all his problems.  But how many battles can one mom fight before she truly falls on her sword? 

 I will continue to be there for my friend.  We will have our get togethers with our children and we will share our ups and downs.  We will accept our children with “stuff” and support each other, yet how is she going to make this work with her son? 

 I don’t have the answer.  Nobody really does.  We take our lives day by day and hope that before we go to bed, we are able to say we did our best.

With that, I raise my sword to this mom – this Warrior Mom who will fight to keep life well for her children amidst all the drama and severe mental health issues she faces daily.

She is a Warrior Mom.  Are you?